never-contented

2009-06-06T21:21:00.002+08:00

i wish everything will come to an end....
because practically,
everyday is repeating, everything is repeating
and disappointment is repeating
i guess i just got lost, being someone else
to say that its okay,
its my own lie
if you dont mind, can you hear me out..
i feel very pressurised and down
feigning a smile is tiring
i'm not sure if you're really caring?
one moment i had the world
another second reduced into nothing
this is too much, and if you should take it too?
half of myself was surrendered to your expectation
but yet is there even abit of your appreciation?
tell me how issit gonna carry on...

2009-05-05T22:28:00.003+08:00

quite alot to update but very lazy
because..
i'm working....
i'm working..
i'm working!

hehs
last weekend went bugis, the new shopping mall- ilumxa?
and of course with baby's companion(:
the place was huge and cold
we went there initially to shop for clothes
but ended up watching Wolverine and played arcade
the show's very nice and thrilling
like finally we can watch tgt
threatre somewhat like cathay
the old and ulu one at bj was far cry miserable
we only went there once~.~
arcade was DAMN BIG and hell lot of varieties
HAHAHA but pity, she spent alot trying to catch me one candy container but no hopes
nvm, outside sell cheaper then we catch

our movie tixs

jet lag

2009-04-24T12:40:00.002+08:00

if i never look up the calendar i thought today's alr may? or june... whatever
lost track of the date and day and tme
serious. i wake up everyday forgetting what was yesterday
called school but cert's only ready for collection by july
thats why i called wondering has july come yet?
adnormal. i usually dun count how many days passed
now everyday woke up by telephone calls and oftenly irritated
stoned a second, trying to sound like im not sleeping but the other party knows it

"hi good morning, erm.. sorry did i wake you up?"
me: "not really"
"oh you sound so bored over the phone, are you alright?"
me: "no worries, im just having a bad cold"

then faster end the call and back to sleep.
because why?
i sleep very late so i couldnt get up early
why i sleep late?
because i shower in the middle of the nyte ard 12 plus to 1am
and ive to wait for my hair to dry
why not just blow it with dryer?
because im simply too lazy.
okay enough

that day
a marche treat from her at vivocity
the queeue was long but managed to get a place quite soon since only two of us
yummy food(:
no pictures. we dun like taking photos ya....
everything was delicious except pasta
sort of not really cooked, hard and still HARD
then took a walk there

last week rostered at paragon
a girl asked if i want the tixs, want to go club with me
hehs im only interested in the guitar-like accessory
you want the free zouk entry can go

learnt that you've been thru so much and so many events
its not an easy matter
all the while being alone enduring the pain and excitments
eventful? happenings? or just ups and downs?
are you smiling?
do you feel happy or contented?
was it too thrilling or you're getting tired?
when all the hopes and plans were dashed and wrecked
whats the purpose of it?
and now, are things getting better?
never endings..
because i didnt participate in that part of your life
and i missed out in whatever i used to do...

life is meaningless without events
but when its too overrated, thats when it gets tired

chomp chomp dinner

2009-04-17T14:04:00.004+08:00

i'm thinking i'm thinking
an old fren called me suddenly and she says shes getting married
that call was an invitation to her wedding dinner
why no invitation card?=.=
i dun wanna let her down because she called and was very happy to share it with me
and i know who other received the message
but on the other hand, the venue's at malaysia
what happens if i go alone and i dunno if i'm working?
if only she reads my blessings...

went tm shopping with her ytd
actually planned to go airport ter2
to get one cookie monster cushion
but we saw it at tm so save the trip hehs
also popped by t1 but didnt really shopped
just visited the washroom there which were quite damp and dirty lor
escalator was also faulty causin one schoolboy injuried
and everybody crowded ard like bee hive=.=
headed back to hg meet up khim and the clique to chomp chomp for dinner
uhh the food still very nice as usual then they suggested to have frolicks ice cream
but the ppl there very dao!
update the pictures soon if i received.

thanks az for the gifts(:

1316

2009-04-13T16:04:00.004+08:00

i slept late and woke up at 8 in the morning
but i only went out at 11, went tanjong pagar
and then somerset to look for sq to collect my DKNY parfum
baby bought it for me(:

7th and 8th was baby;s 21st bday chalet, held at pasir ris- coasta sand.
jy and clique reached first while i went compass to collect
the swensen;s cake i ordered
just get the stuffs all prepared and laid out before her frens arrival in the evening
alot of foods and alcohol too then bbq started i grilled chicken wings and all
haha but some or three quarter of the time not really cooked yet
but nvm lah whatever you serve ppl also eat what ahhaha
after which i went home with jy and pl for a shower then headed back to the chalet
after picking up pat at ave1. the nyte was just pure gorging the leftovers then under the blanket sleeping.hehs

10th was pat;s bday.
as usual met them up at pasir ris, get the giftbox with cigarette and decor roses.
then proceeded to harbour front to meet the bday girl
we had lunch at one of the restaurant(i forget whats the name of the shop)
but servings was totally, unexpectedly and hilariously SMALL
we then suggested to go ps for a round of lan
we played left 4dead. umm was fun but still not really that into it because im not a gamer. just sort of alittle hooked.
speaking of which, the staff in charge of the toy machine was indeed very sucks
anyway she sucks. very sucks.
another one not far away, just at the hawker located opposite cine
they give me almost 2 plates of fried eggs but my order was oyster and carrot cake
damn.. bad service and the worst ever oyster. waste money. i still remember the faces of that 3 bitches. sucks.

12th was her actual bday so i didnt work,we had steamboat with her family at bugis
nice food there,variety was enough(: stomach bloated.

today 13th, our 16th monthsary. so actually the DKNY spray was a gift from her. i like it very much=)

2009-04-04T23:32:00.003+08:00

many things had happened and i decided not to pen down
because it may sounds like im grumbling which is totally not that case
still working for nokia and pretty fine. thanks to khim(:
though hadnt been in retail for quite some time
wells too many memories from then....
met khim and yz that day and we had a chat
hahaha touched on certain topics that were too often evitable
only some pple in the clique would know
anyways wq surprisingly texted us today on my way home
she says we forgotten her but i said she vanished rather
hehs we'll meet up soon these days ya
and i will remember your conference lah =.=
this girl is mad since dunno sec 2 or so
then i suddenly recalled our 5566??
hahaha leader tony lost her way untill now then come back
today baby bought me Tootsie Roll from candy empire at vivocity
no idea what issit will try it later
i did this psp casing for her and hope she likes it truely
psp supposed to put in through the openings behind one of the ears
so the case just nice and im contented and satisfied
btw this is my first attempt (:

nice?

2009-03-25T13:49:00.002+08:00

last weekends worked for nokia
was quite fun and partly because its a commission base
so i wouldnt spent time rotting there
hehs next week also working but i;m not sure
for the subsequent weekends still required or not
ytd caught the movie - hotel for dogs
all about dogs lah, rescuing stray dogs and provide em'
a home that'd probably take em' in
wells but i still din really had a liking to animals
esp cats. ugly and horrid
ive been leading a carefree life
gotta start smth new and decend already...

2009-03-21T01:35:00.003+08:00

today is SAD?
. . . . .ANGRY?
. . . . .DISAPPOINTED?
. . . . .STRESSED?
. . . . .HECTIC?
. . . . .MEANINGLESS?

TOTALLY NEGATIVE. WHATEVER I CAN THINK OF
HAIS IT SUCKS BECAUSE SMTH PISSED ME OFF AND WHEN I;VE RIGHTS AND LOGIC
I BECAME RUDE?

HEY
IM NOT RUDE
IS JUST THAT WHEN IM ANGRY I SAID THOSE WORDS FLIPPANTLY
I NEVER MEAN IT BUT NEITHER DO I DUN MEAN IT BECAUSE
I CAN FEEL ANGER ARISING
I ONLY EAT ONE PATHETIC BAH ZHANG IN THE NOON WHEN I WOKE UP
SOMEMORE WITH MY HEAD STUFFING WITH ALOT OF DREAMS, UNCLEAR
I DUNNO WHAT DID I DREAMT OF, JUST DUN FEEL LIKE GETTING OUT OF BED
I AM SO DAMN STARVED AND FAMISHED
ANYBODY KNOWS HOW DEPRESSING ISSIT TO GET HUNGRY WHEN
YOU;RE ALSO ANGRY AT THE SAME TIME?
THERES NO ROOM FOR ME TO ANALYSE WHAT SORT OF WORDS AND SENTENCE
I;D COME OUT WITH
BUT THAT DOESN;T MEAN I;M WRONG
SOMEBODY OUGHT TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON

IN ANYWAYS WORK STARTS TMR AND I HOPE THINGS ARE FINE, HOPEFULLY PLEASE

HAIS...
Hais..
hais.

blame who......?

2009-03-18T15:57:00.005+08:00

relieved quite a large amount of stress ytd
yea im talking about my assignment, finally, gheez.
that would be my last assignment for dip alr
all done now (:
ytd went amk hub again and went into arcade
with her again as usual
that place averagely spent 50 to 70 percent of cash in our pockets
walau also dun understand why are we so addicted
to the game machines =.=
everytime it goes lidat after many attempts,

me: dun catch alr lah invest so much money but only get one small toy
she: nvm, just 2more dollar, go and change money quick i sit here
me: how many 2 dollars you want
she: just the last try lor
me: i ran alot of times alr leh the bear bear so unwilling to come down
she: can one, faster go if not ppl take away, we alr spend so much ....
me:okay lor bear bear drop then who's taking it home?
she: err ....

then the conversation carry on untill smth dropped
finally contented but on another hand grumble for such expensive toy hehs
but next week can hardly meet up i think
cuz both of us working
and then working days dun compromise still
nvm, cuz i;m preparing a birthday in april
details cannot say here
ahahaha
oh that day went www very fun
with jy and sq along
go again yea? we commonly loved one particular ride there
and will probably set up jy to take that alone next time
haha

ever since joyce's bday my stomach is getting weird and weak omg Omg OMG...

2009-03-07T16:31:00.003+08:00

i dun get this, that why some pple feels irritated to stay
with someone that doesnt pack her stuffs
its not THAT messy okay i dun understand the freaking idea,
since you couldnt stand the sight of it then dun open that wardrobe
as simple as that. you could be an ass if you dun get it?
a house is a accommodation, why youve to clean it everyday if you feel clean enough to rest your head
you like to clean then do it everyday but dun bother other ppl;s room
hais stop your naggings and it'll be fine
you wont know that its a pain in the neck to hear pple nag
again and again over the same things
fuck. end of this topic. so dumb
i still left with qs and bc assignments
deadline's end of mid march, very very soon..
i must finish it all hopefully by next week so ive time to do other things
upcoming next is to quickly work
most prob will still be studying but haven make up my mind
Tourism or Faculty of Law?
hais vexed, ive no hair to let down?
i think reccently somebody also feel so frustated
i dunno what happened to her but she seems down
anyway if she really needs someone to confide i think it wouldnt be me
so well, .....

somebody help me do assignments can... i dun wanna crack my head.

a very long post

2009-03-06T14:46:00.002+08:00

wednesday was a hectic day
i woke up in the morning like some ants in the wok
frantically rushed home and headed down to town for my second interview
GOSH! i nearly ruined up because i'm late
and then keep them waiting
luckily wasnt too unforgivable, i know its horrid
grr whatever. anyway its over
hais i sweated the hell out'of me, fuck.
as usual got class that nyte, rather presentation though
i went, for the sack of that stupid ass 20 marks thingy
oh wells its not smth i;m confident at
and i didnt had any chances to even take a glance and practise for once
goddamn how do i fair?
dun wanna think about it, just once and all, then done
i;m so in bad weather couldnt be bothered
hais frustrated lately, i wonder why
i;m mad at myself, everything;s like fuckingly dun go the easier way out
and my temper;s out of control, its horrible
i blew my top for venting anger
but then, things dun get any better, it got worsened instead
i made a promise to someone that i;d change
i tried but its not effectively changing
i was attentively listening to one of my classmates
presenting on Effective Interpersonal Relations Skills
i think he sounded quite logically right
ive to knock some sense into myself even im very unreluctant
hais forget it, forget it
enough of all these, its totally crazy
yesterday was peaceful, only went amk to meet her
we caught a movie, Marley and Me
ohh very nice and touching one, the Labrador;s the soul in it
so naughty and mischievous but then what a cheerful pet
imagine the whole world turns their back on you
and the only living thing is there, two words- SO ADORABLE
i;m not any animal person but it makes it so warm when your dog
stands by you and somemore wouldnt grumble and blow her top?
hahaha unbelievable
i met an old classmate in sec school at the bus stop before i went home
i was kind of in a state of shock when i saw him
quite expected but didnt expect such big change
i;m glad he told me he;s finally happier now
because he make it to the world that this is HIM
i felt totally how he did, we didnt had courage to accept the discrimination
of those sickening and retard pple that makes a big deal of it
i know its very very pressurizing at the beginning
but as you begin to realise and know what you really wanted
it is actually only yourself you have to convince
yea and now i;m considered living as myself, and happily
ohh retards please enlighten your world that humans live a thousand kind
and WE're happy, elated and joyfully enjoying lives of not being like YOUR kind
thank god

2009-03-04T17:35:00.002+08:00

I Believe　
你不说话的时候　也是一种　
其实你在回应我
没有回应的时候　只不过
正好你在电话中
I Believe　语音信箱的沉默　
也是一种　
其实你在倾听我

just another day

2009-03-01T00:05:00.005+08:00

today i went cycling with khim, yz and joyce
i think this is the first time ever?
we haven hang out for quite sometime alr
cycled pass our secondary school
it seems just yesterday but we've all grown up now
school days are so memorable(:
ohh,

ps: i lost my previous html so chatbox also gone

i dunno issit right or wrong
after making a decision i began to think
perhaps its too late maybe theres no room for other alternatives
i just hope it stops aching me
after awhile...
possible?
i;m still using the mug she gave me
still drinking nescafe in it
still hugging all my babies
still shed a tear when she doesn;t understands me
i am too harsh
i think i talked nonsence
i caused a heart to break
i ought to do some reflections in my stupid self

i can't think anymore...tell me an answer please?

2009-02-26T22:56:00.002+08:00

i wished you were here
right after i screwed things up
i just need an listening ear, the best if its yours
why?
because then, we can talk things out
and had it solved peacefully
i apologise if i registered my views outrageously
i wouldnt think it may even hurt you
that time
i know i shouldnt have mumbled vulgarities under my breath
after each miscomm
it was totally not in my mind
trust me
hang on, whos gonna be reading all this here??
....

2009-02-24T15:50:00.004+08:00

"i know sometimes i'm wrong i know my temper is bad"
"but not as often as it seems"
"because i know i will change, slowly it gets lesser and lesser"
"then rare, untill no more..."
to you, it may seems no actions proves all these but
it takes time
you know its not no reasons that makes it unreasonable
you're just so into your own opinions
i am stubborn doesnt mean everything falls onto deaf ears
i feel so darned uptight recently
i dunno why i dunno when i'll blow up my top
i love eeyore, not other eeyores
but my eeyore!
the first sight i saw her sitting with alot other toys
i picked her up and paid, gave it to her
untill now, she'll be where we go
i'd cry a river if i cannot find her one day

my eeyore

anybody can tell me where got sell eeyore?
alot of places i went but theyre just not nice de
i dun want those artificially coloured i only want the same particular one...

soledad

2009-02-22T14:56:00.005+08:00

22 Feb. its sunday. and it is raining now
surprisingly rare, i'm home blogging here
initially planning where to go and then
it strucked upon me that deadline's drawing
near; for both BC and QS. i hope i'd quickly
get over with this...
ytd went ps cathay with sq and her for sushi
its at the basement. the foods there quite edible
we had sushi most of it though i dun really
crave for them, just the sack of sq's desire
strolled at ps another couple of hours then headed home
i realised i alwys replay track 77
love the song that probably i let it
playing in my blog i'd come here more often
but having hard time to adjust the template
so forget about the idea. ooh
hopefully my interviews a success hopefully
she calls back hopefully wouldnt to no avail
its boring to wake up with nothing to do
i dun understand why some pple have such perseverance
to still harbouring hopes that is totally impossible
the determination you insist, to somebody else
is a burden. so please do not ask me to go for your
birthday celebration anymore on every today, period.
some ppl cherish you like no other
yet some ppl you cherish like no other treasures you like nothing
it doesnt starts and ends with a telephone call
who cares if its not fair for instance
i loathe someone to the core, that someone not any threat
but im irked with the name so fuck it off
i dun want that bloody name to appear in my life the third time
because it stains
vanish yourself like how your name sounds
life goes on, many things to learn, its tough but i'm lovin it
certain issues that is fine to me is not fine to you
"are you alright?"
"yes, because i agree to disagree"

valentines

2009-02-15T23:28:00.004+08:00

vday was fun and occupied
but i only get to play 3 rides in escape, time constraint
and 3 other rides were under maintainance
hais sadly, cannot play the pirate boat that she wants to
next time okay? lols
but we got 2 consolatory tixs to www
not too bad right next month going with sq and clique
actually wanted to catch a movie at amk after the dance performance
then her fren called hence headed to chinatown instead
went along combed streets after streets
then finally found C&C at mosque st
the pub's quite nice there i think she used to go
we get jugs of beer and chivas then stayed till ard 4plus
went babys place snoozed and snored untill next noon
hahaha
i want to catch he's not that into you once its showing
yea... uhh before i end this
happy 21st bday to kgl=)

(:

2009-02-13T23:45:00.005+08:00

so long didnt blog and here's rotting soon
i almost forget about it
but every 13th of each month i guess there will be an entry
to my girlfriend;
happy 14th monthsary to us(:
thanks for the arrangements and efforts
for just today and tomorrow
i try my best to keep your rose longer this time
oh anyways tomorrow am going escape and the break-out dance comedy
with her, held at esplanade
super long didnt go escape alr hehs
happy valentines to my frens and You
i love you baby(:

2009-01-23T22:44:00.003+08:00

i realised i cannot control my temper?
oh no, i mean i never realise untill someone told me
why so? i just dunno
bad-tempered? self-centered? unreasonable?
are they all in myself?
shit!
so what if its NOT APPRECIATED but i've been lidat all these while
and i think it really takes a long time
even if i were to change. right?
unlikely isnt it?
what is being valued and cherished?
i seriously think its to compromise and accept
each other's cons and pros though sometimes its really....
whatever.
how tough, i wouldnt be someone i'm not
i think anger management couldnt change much of it
yelling and blasting through the phone
is kind of a violence?
perhaps very hurting to the party at the very other end
hais
oh wells, i've just checked my results for
Accounting and Management
i'm glad i made it hehs
cny faster come, money roll in please(:

2009-01-20T13:06:00.003+08:00

i'm left with another two months to complete my diploma
time flies but nothing really seems changing
i mean, drastically changing
here i am slacking while awaiting cny
those happening days are fading away
how far have i been through now?
establishing a career is definite
i wanna get my license within a year
and then my degree
i want to try saving up once i get a decent and reliable job
i swear degree's gonna drain my piggy bank
heh nvm
ytd im irritated by a classmate
she was damn annoying lah
so what her manner was amicable
i feel like you're apparently a bitch
okay, i know why i'm angry
get lost bitch, you go far far away
why do i bother to get angry over a nobody?
whatever, dun push your luck
because i'm not patient enough to tolerate
your suck up behaviour

deadly beat

2009-01-16T10:39:00.002+08:00

stayed over at baby's place
and i just got home because she has to work
very tired and my backache is deteriorating
hais but i know
she's worst
take care okay baby?
work is challenging but i dun want you to get
overly stressed and worned out
money only satisfy materialism
but
your laughters brings me happiness
hehs. hug hug

13th on 13th

2009-01-13T14:51:00.002+08:00

baby,

happy 13th monthsary on this 13th january. hugss.
we had supper at tcc last nyte after school then she say this is an early celebration. blea! so insincere one hahaha its okay i forgive you cuz it was not a cheap supper =X

i love you.

yz's birthday celebration

2009-01-12T14:44:00.007+08:00

last friday was yz's 20th birthday. clique met up to celebrate with her... haha then she wanted a bicycle so we went to a shop nearby to get one for her. guess what? one game of blind mice at the playground before we tone down for a decent celebration lols. hope she likes it. only get to update this cuz i just received from ice(:

all of us

we at playground

birthday girl

again us

she and her present

haha gf fetch bf

making a birthday wish

her pet

updates on my birthday!

2009-01-05T22:59:00.013+08:00

i slept bout 3plus hours at 5am then fetch her to work in the morning
then you know?
we ended up having mac breakfast, movies and ksessions...
how cool(:
finally a decent date with baby haha

in my previous post i say would share some pictures that was taken on my birthday
uhh here;s where the pic speaks more:

me with my ice cream cake

baby & clique prepared for me

i dunno where did all the balloons came from

cam-whoring in the ladies

baby free-ed my balloon

she very cute ah? hehs.

smiley

my rootbeer

pl, jy& sq

mokies&pat

me&baby

happy birthday to me!!

i didnt upload all the pics because i dunno how to crop hais

anyways the foods were simply too tempting

we ate alot and messed up the table

that explains why its not being uploaded here(:

goodnytes.

MY HAPPY BIRTHDAY =)

2009-01-03T17:28:00.003+08:00

met up with good frens to celebrate my birthday in advance on 1st january. i am really glad that they never failed to remember my birthday on every year and made the effort to spend some time together. i am to shy to say lols but thanks to khim, joyce, yz, az.....sl and nicholas. i love the gifts from you all haha **criss-cross** AND i love the supper most.

then on the actual day, 2nd january, baby planned the day for me alr. i was being kept in the dark for days from their secretive actions. i meet baby to vivocity for lunch first and she brought me for the movie - Bedtime Stories. but due to time constraint we went out of the theatre without finish watching. grr then she tell me that we gonna watch it the second time very soon! the surprise is, we headed to Marche as she'd alr reserved a table there with some expected pple like jy, sq, pl, pat and mokies(pat's beau). i am very happy cus i told her one day i want to have a Marche dinner with her!! amazingly she brought me there on my birthday. HUGS BABY~~

seven of us queeued for our food respectively and after eating suddenly everybody were excused to the restroom for i thought it was a normal act after a meal. but i realised she kept looking ard very much wanted to look natural but obviously i know smth is being expected. hahaha my silly baby you look so CUTE. SURPRISEEE i love the ice-cream cake that youve prepared for me(: then i realised, everything i ever mentioned to you, you kept in the heart untill one day you make it real. i am very elated again it doesnt matter was it a chocolate or black forest cake my dear because i enjoyed it from the bottom of my heart. and thanks sq and clique for the trouble to get me a smiley balloon and that very appreciated can of italian espresso coffee powder its still in my room now. heh.

took a stroll at vivo after the dinner and then departed when the night;s late. thanks baby and the clique for the arrangements today(:

i know baby spent alot on my birthday and i want to tell you i really love what you had given me...i love you lots for accompanying me since christmas, countdown and my birthday. not forgetting those whom had sent me birthday greetings and LT;s cake in his blog.

i think i will post some pictures taken on that day when i receive it from pl.

2008-12-17T00:01:00.002+08:00

MY HEART IS BLEEDING AT THIS VERY MOMENT
AND

IT

WILL

CONTINUE

BLEEDING

FOR....

i dunno..

perhaps untill

I'M NUMB.

fuck, fucking and fucked

2008-12-16T20:31:00.002+08:00

i;m so fucking sick and irritated
i cant live a day peacefully
this is sickening
whatever i do, it wouldnt be appreciated
all my concern
wouldnt be valued
i hate this like fuck
i think it is meaningless
i cant even have a day for myself
i am then quite certain that
i'm better off alone
leave all these fucks
i will sleep fucking soundly tonyte
and lead tmr a fucking happy one

how complicated.

2008-12-13T14:55:00.003+08:00

whats done alr done
its all water under the bridge
and no point to cry over spilled milk
you know
a quarrel and misunderstanding
will drift us apart
yet every now and then
we want to be angry with each other

sometimes i;m so mad at you
so tired of quarrelling with you
its all only trival matters
weren;t they?
why create a din and make a big fuss over it?
i stared into infinity at our class photo
all the laughters seems to be hallucinating
i missed it very much
can we turn back time?
if i can request smth from santa,
i still want a time machine

i dunno why
why did you never fail to reduce me to tears
do i deserve all these?
you alwys says i;m a bad case of megalomania
i never admit to my bad
but where am i wrong?
just because i dun live the way you say hello?
trying my best to give you what you wanted
is what i ever been doing

i want to tell you;
the puzzle is the best gift i received
no one has ever given me sucha thing
though you made me ended up with the priceless tears today
i still love you

theres a place
i wun forget for life;
theres a room
i wun forget the laughters;
theres a smile
i wun forget the person;
theres the sense of jealousy
it makes me feel loved
thanks.

re-playing back on the old songs that was frequently played on the journey to school
has the feelings changed?

i would look back on those halcyon days
when i hadnt a care in the world...
can everything left
unearsed, unburied and unchanged?

happy first year annivers; baby.

2008-12-09T16:51:00.002+08:00

doing accounts assignment now
thanks alot to aunty agnes for helping
else i've to retake this never-understandable subject
which i dread like taking o lvl's mathematics
when i was 17!
horrible...
okae no more recalling of that

caught bolt ytdnyte
well baby's in love with it
i wonder if theres such a real cute doggie
only the CAT is disgusting, ugly, detestable and one sickening looking face
anyways the teppanyaki at amk hub
isnt that worthy for the second try
fish fillet and sliced pork tasted so blend

recently my rash came back again
i dunno if its due to fever or issit weather's too chilling
but doctor suspect its food allergy then gave me a jab
appreciated that she took care of me =)
stayed up to fix puzzle with her till late nyte
i had never thought fixing puzzle can be so enjoyable

i miss you

4days to reach 13th....

2008-12-05T15:15:00.002+08:00

just woke up from at least a 12hours of sleep
and im still very tired
sleeping longer and longer each day
dozing off in toilets and public transports
had turned into a norm

a tiff with mummy
i ran outta house and reached baby's place at 12 plus am ytd
i didnt had much rest
perhaps just too upset
or i'm having too much thoughts before the intension to sleep

just completed management's assignment
which was a relief
cuz it means i dun have to attend bala's lesson
still left with accounting
and i know nuts about it
its okay, due date's still about another week later

had yuki yaki with dawn and baby ytd
what a horrid dinner
the food dun taste as heaven as before
lesser choices of food and it's somewhat not fresh
because they say some foods taste sandy and smelly
urgg lucky i dun eat what they eat
=P

baby just bought f480
awww~~ so cute my dream phone
i'll buy one when i've money
she says will get me one next month (:
yeah ^_^V

i'm like so entangled with quarrels and misunderstandings lately
i hope things get better
then i'll feel happier

2008-11-24T15:36:00.003+08:00

alr caught HSM 3 and madagascar with baby
haha i like the movie

"i like to move it, move it"
"she like to move it, move it"
"we like to move it, move it... move it move it!!"

what a hilarious show (:

am waiting for Sex Drive and wanna bring her for BOLT
so cute the dog ^_^"
meeting up with jy, pl, pat, sq and baby for dinner later

erm christmas....hugs
* i wonder what will baby give me?*

2008-11-18T15:00:00.002+08:00

headache

backache

muscleache

heartache

please dun lemme die before christmas :(

i used up a pack of tissues last nyte...

11th times happier(:

2008-11-13T11:47:00.003+08:00

baby happy 11th annivers to us (: (: (:
am so happy and excited
christmas's soon
my birthday's coming erm, another month
haha and new year!!
i dun feel like working alr per se
drifting into holiday mood
ughh but i'll work hard for you okay
lets wait for another month's today...
kind of like wanting to plan alot alot of events
and you alr know my christmas wish is a trip on the cruise with you
but less likely we'll be experiencing it cuz you'll be so occupied next month=(
just at the thought that you might go overseas afew occasions
made me feel somehow alil unsecured
in another words
i will miss you lah
dun get so disappointed alright?
i'll try to go with you .......

baby toot toot face

shes still my gorgeous baby!!

2008-11-12T14:51:00.002+08:00

its freaking tough to find a job lately
ever since AIA's down with some rotten luck
hais...
i need a job badly for some reasons
shouldnt be picky now =.="
christmas's drawing near and so our first year annivers
i had smth in mind and i just wanna do smth...
whats wrong with us though
i'm making a fuss outta a molehill?
i'm unreasonable again?
i'm not understanding enough?
whatever..
i alwys have too much of short comings doesnt satisfy you
but i alwys tell you i'll change
but time doesnt prove that
i'm easily hot tempered and my temper makes us cry
i know you wanted very much to throw me away for my fucking temper
and then running back to me seeking forgiveness
i know sometimes i'm sure a bad gf
perhaps i'm just getting out of patience
i dunno why
no doubt;
i still need you
how ironic...
you said bout the no promise next time?
it hurts me like mad
why no promise?
do you mean i deserved it and i had it coming?
i hope i fill up the kinda warmth you'd longed for in your childhood
i hope i fill up the kinda happiness you're looking for

i hope i get a job soon(:

whats happenin

2008-10-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

i wonder when can i publish smth pleasant
or at least smth happier?
i;ve no idea
cuz' when i;m happy,
smth sad expecting in the later day

what exactly do i want?

many things upset me in the day
but only you make me happy
and vice versa
but why do i still demand for smth else?
i;m too greedy i suppose
why am i never contented?

i;m kindof not waiting anything in particular
i dun feel like working
i dun feel like going to school
i dun feel like doing smth normal as usual
what is this?

degenerating myself?
no.

i;m just waiting for what i want
nothing seems right
but its not wrong either
its myself
i also want to know whats on your mind
is that so hard?

different frequency
too far the dimension
but it brings us tgt
so whats the big deal?

what it really bothers
is smth intangible
thats what i want

i really hope you get what i meant

lousy day

2008-10-19T01:52:00.003+08:00

sadded
i want a better day
tmr?
how about tmr....
i feel tired
i dun feel like talking
everything;s gonna be fine when
smth make up to it

i;m feeling shitty right now

Fall For You

2008-10-15T13:58:00.003+08:00

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me inI'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep

Because tonight will be the night that
I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again

Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

Dedicate to Baby (:

i love monitoress!!!

2008-10-15T09:44:00.005+08:00

gotta look for jobs very soon
time flies and i miss something
umm i missed school per se
i miss c3-02
i miss tahir
i miss mr christian tan
i miss dennis yeo and
i miss jerlyn lim

they're my lecturers
i dun use to like them
cuz
a normal teenager wun exactly like their teachers
hahaha
esp bad student=x

i haven been good for the past 10 years though

i remember once i took the lift in school
which i;m not supposed to cuz that was meant for
disabled humans
then everytime me and my peers
ps: food eater gang
we'll RUN to the lift and frantically lookin out for teachers
just in case the door open and you're stepping on shit
mr tan caught me once and he says
either i do detention or 5 marks deducted from my work
but who cares the heck

now i missed the days in school
where we rarely study hard
excluding vivien, catrina, guiluan and kasturi
okay, they're super hardworking
AND, a role model student(:

i think its the first week of school or perhaps its the very very early first sem
smth i wun forget most probably in my life
i saw one RED NIKE BAG
that was awfully ugly at the first sight
but very eye-catching
haha
that was when i saw someone
i asked vivien
' eh who's this girl? never see her before but her bag is horrible"
then she reply
"monitoress lah"

the one who helps me alot in my attendances everyday
while curse and swearing
'this arrogant ah lian alwys late for school, ASSHOLE'
=D

then one day she text me when i was at the canteen
she says i dao never reply her message cuz i din really know whos that
for my classmates like to tease and make fun of me and my silicon backside
but that was the first time i buy her curry puffs
untill 8 months later
we went pl;s birthday chalet then
for some sad reasons to me
i offered her chicken drumlets cuz i only eat chicken wings
and then
our story begins...

pretty monitoress and me(: (: (:

one chicken drumlet has a beautiful lovestory behind
and a story with c3-02, loving BISHAN

anniversary

2008-10-13T13:34:00.004+08:00

i;m again upset over what has happened
why has it to be lidat
you know how much did i looked forward for the day to come
and finally
but how did the day turned out lidat

am i not understanding enough?
perhaps so
but this is me
nothing ever changes

i thought you;ve alr accepted?
i am unreasonable
i am arrogant
i am demanding
i am hot-tempered
i am easily-jealous
i am alwys nonchalent
but
i alwys wanted to treat you nicely
did i do that?

we dumped each other somewhere outside
walked away but the heart is aching
somehow one day i will realise

'i thought i was all right never giving in'
'untill the day you;re gone, i realise i was wrong'

HAPPY 10th MONTH ANNIVERS mY DEAR

thanks ice for your companion for the movie and dinner(:

yukiyaki dinner!!

2008-10-10T14:21:00.005+08:00

supposed a belated birthday celebration for jy and pl
clique turned up except sq and pat
happily met up after work ytd
expecting jy and pl at cityhall station with
my dear
we were so famished

=.="
then hurried to marina for yuki yaki as planned
umm my first visit there
i was excited too =x
wow~.~ lotsa ppl there and we were in the waiting queeue
hence roamed ard and we saw some sorta ufo machine to catch toy
haha as usual
we caught some toy and had 7 in total
pl, sq, pat, jy, avery, dear and me had one each

yeah!!

finally we're asked in for the dinner
okay i must say we're disgusting
hahaha
took alot of foods
had steamboat and some grilling
i dunno why we like to eat those so much
but it was just so enjoyable

or itis just the companion that matters

the most interesting part was the frying of ice cream
i didnt upload any pictures cuz its all with jy and pl
you must witness how did we play with the ice cream
my gosh
it was fresh that i played with ice cream
dear dear took many many cups of diff flavoured
and
we mixed them all with sprite and orange juice
sounds yucks
and it really tasted yucks
and then dear suggested playing some games
and the losers will eat up the yucks

goddamn
i was the first loser sabotaged by pl
and then she was the second one i think sabotaged by me
haha
carried on with jy then baby
alrights the one we ate utterly tasted like some gross and weird sickening sag
but it was so fun (: (: (:

then went esplanade roof garden
took lotsa pictures again
they just like taking photos

went home and gotta work the next day=/
i;m happy that she;s happy today too

2008-10-09T10:44:00.004+08:00

its freaking cold at work
i;m dozing off
and feeling super hungry
the darn office has nothing edible
except the coffee powder
yea of course
i took umpteen cups of it
yummy! (:
when theres nothing else to eat
even a cup of kopi-o
taste heavenly hahaha

okay now i;ve to save up money
school fees not paid
payment date over due
ended up with some penalty
of an additional 100 bucks?
WHAT AN ASS

it sucks when i earn for a living
when i used to earn for spending

lunch with jy, her beau and baby at thai express that day
sq and pat then patch up with us later in the day
for the movie 'house bunny'
was quite a hilarious comedy lead by anna faris as shelley darlington
shes a playboy bunny who teaches an awkward sorority about the opposite sex
only to learn that what boys really like is whats on the inside
a rival gets her tossed out of the playboy mansion
and then fate delivers her to the sorority girls from zeta
the story then develops
and thats how the seven sorority girls
have a sense of individuality

saw the previews
and was alittle interested in
NIGHTS IN RODANTHE (:
will watch it when i;ve the time

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH GEOK(:
haven seen her ever since my 19th birthday
but i doubt i can go for the dinner though
best wishes!!

hungry hamster

2008-10-06T23:32:00.004+08:00

the hamster dun have food to eat

grrr

JOYCE!
had food but din take my call cuz she's sleeping at home

my goodness

they;re so hungry
i showered them cuz they smells like shit
stink

i;m glad they like bread(:

goodnyte dear

2008-10-05T15:06:00.007+08:00

its time to learn not to ask;
'what happened?'
and after all the silence
stop asking
'what you want now?'

just how do i stop asking...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JY AND PL (:

chomp chomp dinner

2008-10-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

met alvin, gl and dave for dinner at chomp chomp
gl's going for ns very soon
and they were planning activities days ahead
fearing that they might not able to see gl after he's in army
haha
i think everybody;s doing fine
except upon hearing some
amazing updates at sls
umm
its like ancient times
i missed that place for some particular reasons too
anyways
dinner was nice(:

thanks dave

you take what you get
and you turn it intohonesty
promise me
I'm never gonna find you fake it

new york dinner!

2008-09-30T11:39:00.004+08:00

feel kinda lethargic at work
sleepy and hungry
wth time is slow at work

nvm
tmr's PH
and i took leave on thursday to accompany baby for some check up
^_^"

dine in new york new york for dinner with baby ytd
i didnt eat much cuz had tea break during work
she ate half a chicken with lotsa potato wages

we had root beer float
and i made a mess with it
arhh
(:

baby wants tamagotchi
shall i buy for her?

if i buy then she'll be totally engrossed with her new love then throw me away
umm she alr had alot of toy
psp
ds lite
pc games?

another tamagotchi comes in
i'll be forgotten...

ahaha

i think
i think
i think...

I'LL STILL BUY FOR HER =x
ghee i alwys pamper her with what she wants

maybe i'll get a pair cuz she says can mate?
or smth lidat
which i hardly understands...
also
she can teach me play

for once,
i had smth to play
(: (: (:

i cared. baby

2008-09-29T23:55:00.003+08:00

why did baby and i having gastric?
why did i make her upset just now?
why didnt i tkcr of her when she needed me the most?

baby:
i'll never want to witness what had happened that day
i'll never want to recall how angry i am almost beating up somebody in the club
i'll never want to see those messages
i'll never want to ...
i'll never want to repeat the history

once is enough
it has alr etched deeply into the heart

will you understand why i get worried?
firstly i;m very very concerned about your gastric
or whichever health concerned condition
secondly i know what;s gonna happen when you;re inebriated
almost dead drunk
thirdly i;m your gf
which means i;ve my reasons for worrying

i dun mean to hurt you again
but that person dun mean anything much to me
cuz its all water under the bridge
i;m just amazed that you'll ask

'is he so important to you?'

NO

i'll keep my promise
i hope you too

i;m having sore throat
infections again?
no idea
i;m used to falling sick once in awhile?

i miss you...

sunday

2008-09-28T23:32:00.003+08:00

i;m hungry again
i need food...

its another weekend
but didnt had much time for baby this week
hais
she alwys bully me
she alwys know when i dun feel like bathing
she alwys know when i;m sick
she alwys know when i;m hungry
she alwys says i;m naughty
she alwys make me laugh when i dunno whats going on
and she alwys hurry me to bathe:(

work and work
its sickening
fuck.
i;m looking forward to 1st oct
Hari raya puasa

none of my business
i just want a day to rest
(:

super tired
i'm waking up so early to work

no life dude=.=

...

2008-09-28T01:17:00.007+08:00

i just want to let you know how i felt
explaination is not rubbish
i want to say my piece
i want to hear your piece
when i ask smth
i expect an answer
when i;m talking
i dun like talking alone like
a morontic idiot?

i dun think deep into your words
sometimes it doesnt mean

i dun bother

where are the times when we just talk without worrying the next moment
who's gonna
be mad?
wheres the time when i say
i miss you
and you miss me too?

i just miss the way you tell me

i'll buy you breakfast and fetch you to school tmr
i just wanna see you the next early morning
and the piece of motivation
to wake up every morning to attend school
because i want to see you

.....
...
..

you still miss me now
me too
but everything becomes a habit
a habit to meet up everyday

explaination is not rubbish
you know what i;m talking about

ANYWAY
its a significant occasion today

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY
i hope you like the celebration
thanks daddy for the treat(:
that was definitely a very sumptuous meal
most importantly
i felt truely happy the time i spend with you

i;m so glad finally had the chance to eat together with my family for a decent meal

i love you mummy & daddy(:

(: (: (:

2008-09-26T09:50:00.002+08:00

okay i;m blogging for ytd

fetched gf from work then meet up with dear friends
khim, mich, yz, joyce, sl and az to SK for dinner at pizza hut
it was filling..

at just the thought of 36 drumlets
it was tasty after marinating
though it was quite awesome that 8 of us could clear the dish
hahaha but i ate only afew
and
marshroom soup
coupled with
HAWAIIAN PIZZA (:

thereafter
headed to hg plaza for kbox session
like so long .. since the last visit
had fun there
we sang till nearly 12am

then
suddenly happy birthday song was played on tv
haha
az's birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIZHEN!
hope you like the celebration (;

baby and i left earlier cuz tmr's working
cabbed home..

i.. have smth else to let you know... but ......

sickening sick

2008-09-23T23:07:00.004+08:00

its another day after work
fatigued.
i;m so drained
not really for the work load but i;m just feeling sick
shit.
i just dunno how to be healthy

*is that really important that i eat vege and fruits dear?*
i just get under par very occasionally
damnit..

met dear after work to amk
boss from HK's dropping by tmr so just get some formal blouse and accessories
and dear has a pair of new watch (;
okay feeling quite alright when i;m with her then after we've departed to home;
i'm feeling sick again
...
i mean, again?
i've just recovered from a 4days torment
like so feverish and somewhat a throat infection that hurts me like sickening

then now it came back.
i miss dear taking care of me and the way you feed me dinner(:
i'll alwys want to be sick then
hugs...

its late, its time snooze time
at least for me because i;m darn worned out...

goodnyte dear(:

2008-09-21T16:47:00.006+08:00

i miss you..
......
...
then i realised, my eyes are wet almost every night;

fetch baby from town after she's done with her hair
and then cabbed to st. james
met up with jy and avery
for her beau has some celebration or stuff lidat for the movie <THE DAYS>
he's one of the four main ah bengs in the show named
cockroach;

the one who gorge with bananas through out the entire show

haha
and then it wasnt has crammed full as what i thought
soon after,
they partied around while i was still feeling alittle depressing over what has happened;

had a glass or two
then...

i started to fall asleep

subconsciously heard jy and baby thought i;m concussed
actually NO.
but anyways i appeared to be cuz.. i;m just feeling down

they party...
..
....
untill

baby brought me to her place and finally have our things sorted out; my eyes still wet like any other usual night but i felt comforted with her around

are you gonna keep your promises again?
i wish you will...

a wake-up post

2008-09-20T15:02:00.002+08:00

hi just created a blog with baby's help.
thanks dear..

nothing much to blog cuz just wake up..
having headaches
because i slept so late ytd;

i wish all these never happened...